


The Rise of the Fake AH Crew

by AdorkaGabe



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Cockbites Crew, Fake AH Crew, Female!Jack, GTA!verse, Gen, Mentions of Insanity, Mentions of Multiple Personality Disorder, Rise of the Fake AH Crew, Short Chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5210900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorkaGabe/pseuds/AdorkaGabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geoffrey Ramsey was born into a normal home with a normal family and a normal life. He went to a normal kindergarten, a normal elementary school and managed to make it through a normal high school. Perhaps this is what drove him insane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Geoffrey Ramsey

**Author's Note:**

> Some characters may be OOC or have really exaggerated personalities and I'm sorry for that. I'm not used to writing some of the people within this fic. I also offhandedly mention relationships like 'fuck buddies' but there isn't any outstanding relationships or smut.

Geoffrey Ramsey was born into a normal home with a normal family and a normal life. He went to a normal kindergarten, a normal elementary school and managed to make it through a normal high school. Perhaps this is what drove him insane.

At the age of 18, his parents shut him away. Away from the world, away from friends and away from them. He didn’t hate them for it. He couldn’t. With the lock on the door came the lock on his emotions but he wasn’t a sociopath. He still cared. He cared for the kitten he was tasked with looking after by the doctors. He supposed, later, that this was a good thing. This allowed him to be released back. He started acting ‘normal’ like his parents wanted him to. His breakdowns were confined to his room, his cell. His screams were breaths as he say as still as possible, trying to meditate. He would show them he was normal and then, he’d be able to do what he liked.

After 3 years, they released him. His parents met with him, he pretended to cry out of happiness. He hugged his now 18 year old sister with a friendly smile and was dragged into a group hug by his parents. He didn’t let his uncomfortable feelings show, not yet anyway. They took him home and they had a dinner. They were normal until 3 weeks later.  
Police sirens filled the air as the Ramsey parents died, sister traumatised and brother missing. The sister said the brother did it as they ran scans and wiped the blood of her parents off her. After the investigation, they were inclined to agree. 

Geoffrey Ramsey disappeared for a year. Nobody heard him, nobody saw him. Nobody saw him coming.


	2. The Vagabonds Refusal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff is tasked with recruiting the Vagabond for the Cockbites.

“Geoff!”

“Hm?”

“We have a mission for you. This one isn’t as secretive as the rest as you’ve been here almost six months.”

“Alright; what is it?”

“We need you to track down the Vagabond.”

“Why? He’s a psycho.”

“So are you.”

“Point made. What do you want me to do when I find him?”

“Recruit him.”

“Alright Heyman. I’ll do it.”  
\--  
The warehouse was dark and dingy and full of clinches in Geoff’s opinion. Dust fell from everywhere as the sound of his footsteps bouced off the walls. “Hey, Skully. I know you’re here.” Nobody responded, “This is gonna sound cliché as fuck but as we’re stood in a rundown warehouse I suppose its suitable. Me and you are a lot alike. Well, I’m guessing. They all call you a sociopath with psychopathic tendencies; they used to call me that once. Spent 3 years in a mad house and then-”

“What does it take to make you shut up?” The voice surprised Geoff, he was expecting more… threatening.

“Join me.”

“What are you gonna do next, tell me you’re my father.”

Geoff let out a surprised laugh, “Star Wars? Really dude?” There wasn’t an answer, “Anyway, I come from the Cockbites.” He froze as he heard a cock of a gun, “No, no, no, I’m not here to kill you. Christ, that would be stupid of me to be stood here in the middle of an empty warehouse with an almost spotlight on me.”

“And alone.”

“I guess you checked, huh?” No answer, “Anyway, the big bosses told me to find you and recruit you. I know you have your no permanent hire policy and it isn’t that, it’s just they want your loyalty.” A shot rang out and a bullet whizzed past Geoffs head way closer than he would like, “Okay, wrong wording. Not loyalty, per se. They want you to agree not to kill anyone from the Cockbites and perhaps do some jobs for them. You’ll get paid, of course.”

“The catch?”

Geoff froze, “They… That’s all they told me.” The gun cocked again, “Please don’t kill me…” he almost felt ashamed for his high voice but considering the situation, only he and the Vagabond would ever know about it.

“Pass this on to Matt Hullum,” Geoff nodded, “Go screw yourself.” Footsteps echoed around the building and across the room. He laughed a hysterical laugh and collapsed to his knees, “Thanks for that you big bag of dicks. Now the Vagabond knows my face and I’m probably going to die.” He said, speaking to an imaginary Joel Heyman. Pulling out his phone, he pressed the quick dial for said guy, “He said no and asked me to pass on a message for Matt Hullum.” He spoke as soon as the click signalled Joel had picked up, silence answered him, “Go screw yourself.” The line cut and a low beep signalled the end of the call. 

“Fuck me, dude. That was great.” He said to himself, grinning like a madman, “Cliché as fuck but great. I’m gonna remember the Vagabond and when I make my own crew, he’s gonna be mine.” Geoff lifted himself off the floor and ambled towards the door, brushing the dust from his jeans, “I’ll do something the Cockbites sent me to do and failed but with a more tempting offer.”


	3. The Driver and the Sniper

Over the next two years, Geoff slowly raised himself through the Cockbites ranks keeping his intentions to himself. Soon he was second to the big bosses with his own sub screw named the ‘Fake AH Crew’. He would never tell the main four but their days were numbered and they didn’t even know it. He knew the first person he would contact would be Jack Patillo. She was the best driver he knew and he also knew she didn’t have any permanent affiliations with any crews yet. He knew she would join though as she was like his best friend turned fuck buddy. The big bosses didn’t approve of her like he did but for all he cared, they could go screw themselves. 

He gave her a call and invited her around to his apartment. He heard the door open just as he sat back with a whiskey in his hand. “So, the penthouse plan isn’t in play yet.” She joked.

Geoff grinned, “Nah but soon enough it will be.”

“I know this isn’t a fuck call so why did you call me?”

“Cant a guy hang out with his friend once in a while?”

“Not when you’re you.”

“True. I called you to offer you a proposition.”

“If this is another one-”

“No! I’m offering if you want to join my crew.”

Jack say back, bottle of beer in her hand. “Why now?”

“They let me. Fake AH Crew. Join me, Jack.”

“This is why we never let you name anything. That name sucks, dude.”

“Its not-“

“The name of the cat, Geoff.”

“... Is not the point. Do you want to join me?”

“I’ve got nothing to lose. Freelance works been dying for drivers anyway. I also have someone you could contact. His names Ray Narvaez Jr. Best sniper I know.”

“Record?”

“About 50 feet.”

“Nice. Contact him and we’ll get him on board.”

\--------------  
Ray felt nervous. He’s heard of the Cockbites. He’d heard of Geoff through his deeper channels. He was second to the biggest of the Cockbites. His name wasn’t known though, he’d been sneaky and that possibly didn’t bode well for him. 

He saw Jack first and felt slightly calmer. At least he wasn’t meeting Geoff on his own. He turned the corner, hot pink sniper hanging loosely on his back. He waved lazily, “Sup.”  
Jack grinned, “Hey Ray. This is Geoff and Geoff, this is Ray.”

“Yeah, yeah. So Ray, whats your best?”

“55.89 feet.” Geoff nodded approvingly, “What’s this about? I mean, it’s an honour to meet you Geoff but it’s not every day you get called to meet someone so high up unless you’re getting killed. I don’t recall doing anything wrong but then again, it’s kill or be killed.”

Geoff’s bright eyes dulled a second, “Not anymore. Not for if you if you agree. Will you join my crew?” 

Ray froze, that wasn’t what he was expecting. “The catch?”

“You move into my apartment building.”

“Which is?”

“Agree first.”

“Fine. I’ll join. What could go wrong?”

Geoff grinned, “Everything but let’s not worry about that. I live…”


	4. The British Hacker

The next recruit wasn’t through a conventional means. No it was through a call between himself (Geoff) and Jack. A random person joined it.

“Hello Geoffrey!” A British accent rang out, “I’ve heard about what you’re doing and I’d love to join your crew. Y’know, if you want me. I’m the best hacker in Britain and I’ve never been caught. Can I just say, your electronic trail is very wide open and I’ve been able to find all your latest weapon deals. Including tomorrows. How does Los Santos Airspace sound?”

Geoff and Jack were shocked into silence, “Oops, I suppose I should introduce myself. Gavin Free! Screw the locks on the internet and welcome to free information.”

Geoff was the first one to laugh, “Oi! What are you laughing at!”

“That slogan is the fucking stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, well. The Fake AH Crew isn’t the best name either.” This time, Jack laughed while Geoff sulked, “Nice to know I’m appreciated.”

“I’m currently in Los Santos for the next couple of days. Just drop me a text with a place and a time and we’ll meet. My numbers already in your phone.” Gavins line cut. 

“That was fucking weird. Let’s contact him.” Geoff said with excitement. He could almost hear Jack shake her head in fondness, “Sure, why not? What could go wrong?”  
\--  
To say Gavin was excited was an understatement. As soon as he left the call, he got a text within the hour. He had had four hours to get ready to meet his new boss. He had no doubt he was going to get hired. Geoff was as insane as his file said.

So here he was, stood next to his British flag covered bike, waiting for Geoff and Jack to turn up. The first think he noticed was a red dot on his chest and he huffed, “I’m alone.” There was a sniper? This is new. The red dot didn’t move. Maybe it wasn’t Geoff? Panic started to rise. The meeting had been compromised? But he covered every track he could. Then again, this was America. Maybe they had different tracks. He swore quietly and moved slowly to take the knife out from his back pocket and a pistol from his jeans hoops.   
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” A voice rang out. The red dot moved to above his heart, “Name?”

He didn’t have anything to lose, “Gavin Free.” There was silence before the voice replied, “Slogan?”

Oh, that made a lot more sense, “Screw the locks on the internet and welcome to free information.”

The dot disappeared and a helicopter flew down that Gavin hadn’t noticed before. He raised an eyebrow as another guy appeared from above. When the guy noticed him, he shrugged. “Security. We never know who we’re going to meet. I’m Ray. Ray Narvaez Jr.” he held out a hand, “Fake AH Crews sniper.”

“You must be new; you’re not in any of my files.” He shook his hand.

Ray grinned, “Nah, I’ve been around for a few years. I just keep my head low and reputation even lower.”

Geoff and Jack joined them, “Displays of power don’t work on me, Geoffrey! I know you’re whole arsenal.” He added a ‘now’ mentally as he categorized Ray.

“Sorry for the scare. Nice to meet you when you aren’t hacking into my phone calls.” He patted Jack on the shoulder, “I’m guessing you know this lovely woman but just in case, this is Jack.” And he hands swooped over to Ray, “And Ray, the best sniper I know.”

“So you’re all part of the Fake AH Crew?” They nodded, “So, do I get to join also?”

Geoff grinned, “Why not. Welcome to the Fake AH Crew, Gavvy.”

“You are as insane as your file says.”

“Oh, I know.”


	5. We Need a Heist

Gavin shared an apartment with Ray to help pay the rent. He sent messages off to his ‘informant across the sea’ to say he won’t be coming back for a while. The message he got back wished him good luck and that the informant was joining the army so don’t message him for a while, which Gavin was fine with.

“Let’s do a Heist” Was the first thing that greeted them as they walked into Geoffs’ apartment. The man looked so giddy that Gavin and Ray shared a look of almost regret, sometimes they doubted Geoffs’ age. 

“Like what?” Jack replied, already spread out over the couch, “We don’t have enough arsenal.”

“A gas station.” The three others looked at him like he’d grown a third head, “Don’t look so surprised. We can’t aim for the Maze Bank and we don’t want to just rob houses so… Let’s rob a gas station.”

Gavin shrugged, “Why not. It’s been a bit boring anyway.” He got two looks of ‘don’t encourage him’ off of Ray and Jack but he ignored them, “There’s one across town. Stop’n’Shop I think it’s called.”

“You’ve been here, what, a week?”

“Always know your home turf.” Is all Gavin replied. 

“Okay, we need masks.”

Ray spoke up, “On the beach side, there’s a mask shop. They offer some ridiculous shit but its good ridiculous shit.”

“Lets get to work. Jack you get the masks.” She nodded and picked up her car keys, “Don’t be suspicious.” She rolled her eyes and left. “Ray, I need you to check our ammunition and guns.” He nodded and headed back to his shared apartment, “Gavin, I need you to hack the security feeds. Close them down. It may only be a gas station but its good practice.” He noticed Gavin’s raised eyebrow, “Los Santo is the deep and dirtiest. Some have different advances than what you’re used to.” The Brit didn’t reply but pulled his laptop out and got to work.

“And for me? A whiskey’ll do.” He pretended he didn’t hear Gavins’ half laugh and poured the drink.


	6. The Explosives Expert

“Hey Ray! Hows Los Santos doing for you?”

“Michael, Christ you scared me. You don’t call off an unknown number dude.”

“Oh, shit yeah. I had to change my number after I got into some shit.” Ray felt his stomach fill with dread, “Speaking of said shit, can I crash with you?”

“Why now?” Ray muttered to himself, “Where are you?”

“Los Santos. I’m tracking your phone signal and I’m currently outside the apartment building.”

“Floor 8, room 809. Hurry, I’m in the middle of something.”

“Of course you are.”  
\--  
Not soon after, a knock sounded at his door. “Come in!” he shouted, laying the shotgun ammo next to him. Michael walked in in all his New Jersey glory. “Long time, no see.” He looked around, “You share?”

Ray hmmed in response and loaded another pistol. “Pistol? They aren’t your style.” 

“Not mine. I’m part of a crew, Michael.”

“Which?”

“Fake AH Crew.”

“Never heard of them.”

“Yet. Give it time. Geoffs got a plan.”

"Geoff?"

"Geoff Ramsey?"

"The Geoff Ramsey? The one you talk about?"

“Yup.”

“You said he was under the Cockbites thumb, what happened?”

“He started a ‘sub branch’ from the Cockbites. He says it won’t be a sub branch long though.”

At that moment, Gavin walked in. “Ray, you- Who are you?” Ray was surprised how fast Gavin managed to pull out a pistol and a small throwing knife. Ray waved from the floor, “Calm it, Gavin. He’s a friend.”

Gavin lowered the gun but kept the knife in his hand, “Jacks back and Geoff is almost ready. Everything loaded?”

“Everything that we need.”

Michael watched the exchange silently, not wanting to make Gavin jump and him to suddenly to have another scar to add to his collection.

“Michael, come meet Geoff. You’ll like him.”

Ray stood with a hold-all full of guns and gestured for Gavin to leave with the the sniper following close behind. Michael followed, not wanted to be locked in the apartment.  
They got to Geoffs apartment and they all walked in and Geoff raised an eyebrow at the sight of the Jersey man. “Whats your name and specialty, kid.”

“Names Michael Jones and explosives.”

“Suits his personality too.” Ray quipped from the side where he was placing down the hold-all. Michael glared.

“So, Michael. Wanna join my Crew. I’ll keep you away from what you’re running from.”

The explosives expert blinked in surprise, “How did you- Y’know what, never mind. Sure why not. Need any help with this Heist?”

Jack muttered, “Crazy motherfucker” before muttering about glad about buying an extra mask.

“You can go in with Gavvy here and get the money.”

Michael glanced at the Brit, who grinned in return, “Michael! This is gonna be fun, right?”

“Mi-cool? Hey shitbag, it’s Michael.”

“That’s what I said.” Gavin rolled his eyes and Michael copied the action.

Geoff raised an eyebrow, “Anyway… Ray you’re on the rooftop across the street. Be ready to take out the cashier once we’ve got the cash. They have a bad habit of carrying guns around here.” He laughed at his own joke, “And Jack is our getaway driver and I’ll be watching from the backseat to see how well we act as a crew.”

“Basically you get the easy job.”

“Well duh.”  
\--  
The Heist went exactly to plan, even down to Ray shooting the cashier in the face. They managed to make a profit of about $5,000 which was $1,000 to each of them. They celebrated by drinking the night away together as their first successful heist came to a close.

“To us.” Geoff held up a bottle of beer.

“To us!” Echoed the other men, tapping their beers (or coke for Ray) against Geoffs.

There was a knock at the door and Geoff stumbled up to get it, “Hello?” He said, pulling open the door and leaning against it. He saw Joel, “Whats wrong?”

“Hullums dead.”


	7. The Final Rise

The apartment silenced at that moment and Geoff’s thoughts immediately became clearer, “How?”

“We don’t know.”

“Was it murder, assassination-“

“We don’t know. It’s done in such a way; it could have been an accident.”

“How do we find out then?”

“You don’t.”

“What?”

“Because, Geoff Ramsey, you know too much.” Joel seemed to pretend not to see the other men behind him move, “You’ve gone against us too many times. You pretended to hide your intentions but it didn’t work. That job with the Vagabond? Was a test. We had someone follow you.”

“But, Joel, buddy! I would never betray the Cockbites. They’ve been my family since I turned up on the scene.”

“Don’t lie, Geoff. We all know. We let you build up your weak ‘Fake AH Crew’ only to take you down when you got too cocky. Unfortunately, the plans been pushed up since Hullum is dead.” Burnie and Gus appeared from around the corner, guns loaded ready to shoot, “You were a great pawn while you-” Joel was cut off as he collapsed to the ground, blood pouring out of his skull. They all stared at the body in shock before the Vagabond walked down the corridor, “But you weren’t expecting Geoff to have me on his side now were you?”

Burnie and Gus looked between the two before raising their guns. A shot fired from behind him and it his Gus in the shoulder before the Vagabond raised his gun as Gus’ head, “Leave or regret it in the short time you have left.” Burnie scrambled for the elevator to leave, leaving Gus to fend for himself. Geoff knew he had to act, “Gustavo, anything to say?”

“You bastard. You killed Matt didn’t you?”

“No, though I wish I did.” He gestured to the Vagabond and a bullet was through the injured man’s skull and the body collapsed to the ground. Geoff looked at the Vagabond, “What made you change your mind?”

“Your charisma.” The masked man said dryly.

“Was that… Was that a joke?” No answer, “Okay then… Now what to do with their bodies…”

“Leave it to me but I need to borrow your driver.”

Geoff gestured to Jack, she nodded, “Tell me where and how and I’ll do it. I’m sure we have a van nearby we can steal.” They left. 

“When did you talk to the Vagabond?” Asked Gavin curiously, he seemed to be the only one who knew completely who the Vagabond was and what it meant.

“Almost two years ago around six months into my time at the Cockbites.”

“Does that mean he’ll join us? He’ll be on our side?”

“Don’t be so sure of it. He had a message for Hullum last time.”

“What was it?” Ray piped up.

“Go screw yourself.” Geoff grinned at the memory, “That crazy son of a bitch.”

“Can anyone tell me who the Vagabond is? I mean, my turf is normally New Jersey but I’ve heard the name just not what he does in detail.” Michael asked.

“The Vagabond, a mercenary with crazy myths and legends behind him. Some say he used to work for a crew and they betrayed him and they were all dead within a week of each other. Some say a maniac did that and he’s been out for revenge ever since. But he’s just as insane as I am, perhaps more. He’s been a lone wolf for a few years, doing odd jobs that no one else would do or jobs that everyone failed at. Needless to say he’s built quite a reputation.”

Michael looked ashen, “Oh… But… But if he protected you, he must like you right?”

“I suppose.”

“Nobody has ever seen his face either and he doesn’t have a ‘home ground’ to go back to. For all anyone knows he could be an accountant with a thirst for blood if he’s boss gets to yappy.” Gavin blurted, seeming to know a lot about the Vagabond, “When I first heard of the Fake AH Crew, I looked into other crews in the area and he was just there. A lonely blip within several crews map. He was interesting okay? I followed him about for a while through security cameras but he always seemed to have someone covering him so I don’t think he’s working completely alone, he has a hacker. Someone like me.”

Geoff thought for a second, “Burnie once faked a death for a woman with brown hair… She was a hacker and a skilled one too. Once she ‘died’ she dyed her hair red and was tasked with following the Vagabond by Burnie in repayment for her ‘death’. She went missing just over a month later but no one ever found her body. The Vagabond always leaves the body but he’d never attacked an innocent before so people were confused. Maybe… Just maybe she could be working for him?”

Gavins eyes widened, “Oh! Yeah! I know of her. Burns got creative with her ‘death’ because she wanted it to be as realistic as possible. She went full Sherlock Holmes when commiting suicide and coming back, making a life in Los Santos until she went missing.” He turned to his laptop, “What was her name again…?” He muttered to himself and began typing. 

At that moment Jack walked in with the Vagabond right behind her, “Disposed of.”

“Hey, Skully.” Geoff said, ignoring everyone elses flinches, “Do you know a woman named Lindsay?” The Vagabond tilted his head, “Burns made a death for her. She was tracking you. She disappeared, poof.” He did jazz hands to exaggerate his point.

“Why?”

“Just wondering. She was a really skilled hacker.”

“Is.” Geoff hummed, “She still is. She tracked me and cornered me. Called me an idiot for being so obvious and said it was a surprise I wasn’t dead. She covers my tracks for me.” That was the biggest sentence the Vagabond had said to Geoff ever. “But that isn’t why I was here. I’m here to see if you’ll invite me to your crew,” he paused, “With Lindsay.”

“So you do know full sentences!” Geoff burst out but quickly bit his lip when he caught icy blue eyes from inside the mask, “Er, I mean, sure. Vagabond-”

“Haywood.”

“What?”

“Names Haywood.”

“Erm, okay… Haywood would you like to join the Fake AH Crew?”

“Yes.”

“Would Lindsay like to join-”

The door burst open and everyone went for their guns apart from Haywood, “Sup, bitches!” It was Lindsay, “Oh, put your guns down… Or are you happy to see me?” She added wiggling her eyebrows. She slammed the door behind her and quickly picked up a beer and opened it, “Did Haywood kill someone’s cat? Or is the tension always this thick?” She took a swig, “I know, you should all just fuck and then the tension will be gone.”

This made Gavin burst out laughing, “Oh, no. Never. Not with these lot. You’d probably find blood in places you don’t want to…”

“Did you mean everywhere?” Added Ray after he broke out of his shock. Gavin nodded, slapping Ray on the shoulder, grinning.

Lindsay nodded, “True, true… So, Haywood, you worked everything out? Apart from your sexual tension of course. I still say you should go out and pick up a prostitute.”

“Lindsay, no.”

“Lindsay, yes.”

“Um… I was just asking if you wanted to join the Fake AH Crew.” Geoff butt in. 

“Geoff! My ol’ buddy, my ol’ pal, my ol’… I don’t know. But anyway, I’ll take you up on that offer and how’ve you been. You’ve grown taller from your scrawny early 20s self. You have muscle dude! And a beer belly so you might want to watch that.”

Geoff didn’t get the chance to answer as Gavin cut in, “Bevs! To celebrate Haywood and Lindsay!”

“What are ‘Bevs’?” asked Haywood.

“That was so innocent… How did you even kill those people?” No answer.

“Bevs are drinks! Beer, whiskey… and coke depending what you like.” Ray help up a coke can, and Lindsay held up her beer and they laughed. 

The Fake AH Crew grew and became stronger as all the different people within the group helped the others with skills. Gavin and Lindsay collaborated, making passwords and security walls they sometimes struggled to pass. Haywood helped Gavin with his knife work, say it was ‘all wrong, your wrist is too limp’ and in return Gavin taught Haywood some English slang. Gavin was also the first person to find out that Haywood wasn’t his first name and instead it was Ryan (nobody but Lindsay ever knew about ‘James’, Ryan’s other personality). Ray helped Jack with aiming while driving and Jack helped Ray with fast moving targets after he admitted it was a slow point for him. Geoff slowly gained more power and more people feared him but at the same time loved him as he avoided killing innocents wherever he could. He was seen as the good against the police in some cases. Having Ryan on their side only helped their reputation build. 

Soon enough, the Fake AH Crew were the top dogs and the penthouse was no longer a dream. It was big enough for them all to live in comfortably. Geoff soon bought out the penthouse and the first couple floors of the apartment building to convert them into practice spaces and extra space so nobody called the police (not that they would but it was just to be safe.)


End file.
